and then I danced!

Saturday night I had a charity function for work. It was my first "night out" in a very long time. I was able to wear my prosthetic for the first time in ten weeks (only the foam one) and while it was not completely comfortable, it was not completely uncomfortable either. I did not have a ton of responsibility at the event. It was one of the other coordinators function, but she had asked me to help with some small decor items and other support tasks. We all have to be present at the event, but my main function was really just to make the rounds and shmooze a bit. It was so great to see people that I had not seen in far too long. An old work buddy, a friend who is getting married this summer and I am helping a bit with her wedding and 4 local vendors that I get to work with quite often who donated some items to us for use at the event.

They had a great band and then I could not take it any more.. I danced.. and it felt great (although I do have bleeding blisters on one foot it was worth it)!

I am in the early stages of planning a small celebration, most likely end of May or mid-June.Will keep you posted.

Insomnia stinks

I have tried it all.. Tylenol PM, Benedryl, etc.... it does not matter how tired  I am I can not seem to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. I have been trying to get back to some normalcy, but I am afraid I may be pushing a little too hard. I am now off all prescription pain meds and have had about 10 days off of PT to allow my skin to heal. The skin is doing well, but I am getting this rolling pain under my scar that is pretty uncomfortable. I have a call into the PT office for advice, so hopefully they can help.

Tomorrow and Saturday I am helping with some set-up for a large charity function that the company I work for is involved in, but it is not an event I oversee I am just helping out.

Thanks for checking in!

And it strikes again..

I could not fall asleep tonight so I got up and found myself in front of the computer checking email, revising a contract from a weekend meeting and checking facebook. A friend of mine has posted that his mother is having surgery for breast cancer tomorrow morning.

So for all of the support you have all given me these past few months, could I trouble you to take a moment and send some prayers out for Wayne and his Mom Betty and his family..he has two small boys that need their Grandma to stick around!

Thanks in advance!

There are theories on friendships.....

I found the below and think it is so accurate.....in the past couple of weeks I have made a new friend, a very nice lady who I met on a cancer website, my age, also single, recently diagnosed and on the day we met to have lunch she came from a post-op and was told she had to have a second lumpectomy two days later... my immediate response was to offer to take her, which I did and it was successful and she can continue with her treatment. I have also reunited with an old friend of 30+ years, with who I had a falling out with a few years ago, we also had lunch and caught up on the past few years. Two examples of the below. 

Many of us are fortunate enough to have friends who are a consistent part of our lives throughout all our ups and downs. However, sometimes others we consider friends  appear to enter, then depart from our lives for reasons we try to, but don't always, understand. This piece nicely explains the flow of people in and out of our lives.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

In other news.. I am happy to have my radiation treatments behind me and continue healing. I was able to do some things around the house today, but I will admit to pushing myself a little and being very tired and having a bit of a swollen arm tonight. But it is a minor blip and I am looking forward to getting this shoulder in shape with my physical therapy and trying to get some sense of normal back in my life.

One more......

treatment on Monday and it looks like I will be officially finished with active treatment. This week they have been doing what is called scar boost. This is when they radiate only my scar....this is also when all of my skin from the other areas of my radiation breaks down, they tell me this can continue for 6-8 weeks.... I am hoping I can rally a bit quicker than that.

The temperature of my body is so high and it seems to intensify at night...I just can not seem to get the house cool enough for comfort when I sleep. I shock the poor dog every time I touch her and the static cling in my body is almost funny.... note the almost!

I will have to take 2 weeks off of my physical therapy due to the skin breaking down, there is not too much they can do without damaging it further. Then I will resume working on getting this arm moving and the nerve damage in my shoulder straightened out too.

I appreciate the messages, emails and texts from those of you who have sent them.. I also know that many of you are keeping the positive thoughts and prayers coming my way too and I thank you all for those too. It has been a hell of a journey and while it is not over quite yet, it hopefully will get a little easier soon.

Happy Easter all!

This stinks....

I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. The burning, stinging and itching make it difficult to do most things. The doctors solution is to take the pain meds, but if I did that all day everyday it would make it kind of difficult to function, which I still need to do on some level.

I am trying to take it easy this week but it doe snot seem to be working out that way. I am not sure how much clearer I need to be than "I need a few days break to get through this last week." Can everyone read that? I am still typing in English right?

Anyway.. the end is in sight.. they tell me it will take 6-8 weeks for my body to feel normal again.. although I am not sure what they define as normal. As long as I am lopsided I don't think I will feel normal.. as a matter of fact, I don't think I will ever feel really normal again.

But as always I will end on a positive note.. only 3 more treatments!

Last day

Today is my last official day of overall radiation. After this I have 5 days of "scar boost" which is radiation directly to my scar. I officially have skin breakdown and raw spots at different areas of my body... it is kind of like an intensified sunburn.

I also have a little down time from work, which is a welcome break. I have been pushing and overdoing ant is has caused me to make some stupid mistakes from my brain being overloaded. Nothing earth shattering just not being as thorough as I usually am in my job.

The end is in site!