Goodbye 2011

I am not sad to see you and everything you threw at me go. I am not thrilled with the way 2012 is beginning either to be totally honest. I am trying to focus on the positive but some days it is tough.

The doctor phoned me in some Lortab to help with the pain, took it for the first time last night. It knocked me out, but not sure how much it really helped with the pain. My fear is that if the shoulder pain does not subside before the surgery that recovery will be more difficult.

It has been recommended to me that I rent a lift chair for my recovery, something to sleep in and be comfortable in and won't require me to put too much strain on my muscles. So that is coming on Tuesday. There are so many things that I am learning from breast caner.org that the doctors don't tell you about. I guess cause they have not been through it.

Got myself a pedicure yesterday.... my toes look crazy, but I figure if I will be looking at my feet a lot in the next couple of weeks they may as well be fun!

Happy New Year!

Hear we go again....

The countdown has begun... again... one week to go. Going to try and stay busy for the next few days, however the pain in my legs, back, and arms is not helping with this at all.

Have a little work to wrap up in the next few days and I am going out to meet with a friend/bride this morning!

Thanks for checking in... D

Hair again!

So I am starting to get a little bit of stubble, dark brown and white in color. I washed it with volumizing shampoo this morning, maybe it will help!?!?

It's a Christmas miracle!

I got my letter today saying that my Medicaid has been approved! At least now I know that my medical expenses are now covered. Whew!!!!!

Merry Christmas...

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas.

Hug your loved ones a little tighter this year and never be afraid to tell them you love them.

HoHoHo!
Denise

Attempting to return to normal activiy

well semi-normal. Went out and tried to do some Christmas shopping yesterday... not so productive... everyone is out of the things on the boy's lists... well the things I can afford anyway. Had a nice lunch with Beth and came home for a break... then went out with Mom last night.. thinking the mall was a bad idea. My body is just tired.

Looking forward to a couple of meetings for work this morning.. a wedding and a memorial service.. how opposite can my job get!

A quiet weekend in store.. still planning on trying to get a tree up and some baking done on Saturday if anyone wants to come by and help let me know.. would love to have some company.

Surgery has been rescheduled again...

Update.. my surgery has been rescheduled to January 4th...I have a rash in my surgical area and my surgeon thinks that perhaps my body just needs a break. So I just may decorate and make some cookies.. I may just have an open door policy this weekend for all of you who were trying to come decorate behind my back..... I am still not strong enough to do it all by myself so let me know if you want to come by!

Early morning phone call....

... wait for it..... from the Medicaid office.....unexpected! No notice, she just called....still on the call, we shall see how it goes.

The countdown..

...has begun.. I am just trying to block it out.

Had a nice night out to Hobby Lobby and Golden Corral with my friend Marci last night...was nice to have a few little helpings and not have to commit to something that may not taste good to me right now. It was even better to be pre-occupied! If I can do so for the next 2 and a half days I will be in good shape.

To those of you who have emailed me or my mom about decorating my house. I really appreciate the thought but between recovery and trying to keep Bella out of decorations I think it would cause me more stress than pleasure. I would much rather have you all come visit when I come home if you can ..... that would make me feel the best! It would give my Mom a break and Bella loves company and to run around outside which I will not be able to do much of. From what I am finding out I am going to be laid up for at least a week and maybe even 2, so visitors will be most welcome!

Finally got my computer back from the repair guy and back up and working.. I lost a lot of work.. thankfully most of it was from weddings gone by so print copies will have to do!

Going to go take my boy Tim out for dinner at Ballyho's with one of my Groupon or Living Social or one of those deals.. so that is a couple of more hours occupied!


Thanks for checking on me!

Today is the day it hit me hard.
I will be losing my breast. I will be wearing ugly bras that don't show cleavage from now on. I will have bags collecting fluid leaking from my body. I have to have my breast cut from my body or I will die.
I don't know how I got here. How did this happen? When will I wake up from this nightmare and be healthy, carefree and happy bc it was just a nightmare? Did I do something to deserve this? What the hell am I supposed to learn from all this? What if I don't learn what I am supposed to learn?
I have spent much of the day crying over my impending loss. And praying this is the 1st and only time I go around with cancer of any kind in my body.

yuck

i have a cold