I was diagnosed on 8-4-11, I will have my first "procedure" tomorrow 8-15-11. I am not sure if I should be happy things are happening so fast or scared that they are happening so fast. I guess I have no choice but to embrace it either way.
Today I had a work function and got lots of encouragement from my coworkers... some of them I know well and work with often, some of them not so often.. but the support and encouraging words in the forms of texts and hugs means more to me than any of them know. Also, the normalcy in which they were with me today was wonderful and welcome today to keep my mind occupied.
I then and went and met some friends, who I also do not see often as they do not live in my town, for a quick bite and was again reminded that some of the people who love me the most and are showing me the most support are the ones I may not see or speak to regularly. Sadly, some of the ones I thought would really show me the love have been noticeably absent. I understand that it is a lot to handle and if you can't just let me know.. I will understand and know that you are there for me in whatever way you can handle.
My Mom and Dad have had the difficult job of letting family know of my situation....some of them I am close to, some of them I used to be close to.. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt that it is taking cancer to make them want to call me.
Everyone keeps telling me I am a strong person and I will beat this.. and I think.. no I KNOW that I will. But I am so tired and feel so weak when I get home after what I used to consider a normal day. In some ways it is nice to know that there is a reason I have felt this way for the past few months and do not have to put on my "everything's fine" face.
I think I need to try and sleep now.. 4:30 am came way too early this morning and I have a feeling it will come again tomorrow. Good night for now and don't be surprised if another post comes tonight if sleep doesn't.
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