Cancer just sucks ......

I can not believe I have not blogged in over 5 months. Things have been a bit busy. Today I update with a heavy heart and for reasons I hate. Yesterday I lost a dear friend to this horrible crummy disease. When we were younger Kenneth was like the little brother I never knew I wanted. You see I am the the baby of my family and I have an amazing brother, one who offered to shave his head when I lost my hair, one who drives around with a pink ribbon on his vehicle and who does all the things I need him to do that I can no longer do.

But Kenneth and I grew up together from the time I moved here at the age of 10, there was my brother and I, my two cousins, "the twins" and Kenneth in my age group...and we explored our little dirt road heaven together. The boys showed us city kids the ropes..I was 14 the last time I got a "spanking" from my Dad (which I deserved) because I was off riding my bike with Kenneth in the "sinkhole" where I wasn't supposed to be. When I got my first car, he quickly told me he would be riding to school with me (I didn't mind), he dated my best friend (the one I call my sister) off and on and still rode with us to school even when they were off. When he was heading off to the Marines he and I went to pick up the beer for his going away party (at the request of his Mom) and it ended up being the foamiest beer ever because we totaled her truck on the way home (not our fault thank God!) and every time I drive through that intersection I smile at the memories. I am beyond grateful to Facebook for bringing him back into my life on a regular basis and HATE that we had the "C" in common.

Kenneth found the loves of his life and Sara and his two daughters, my heart breaks to think of their loss.

 As the 3 year anniversary of my diagnosis looms tomorrow it just makes me wonder why someone like Kenneth, who has a wife and kids that worship him, has to go and I get to stay around. I know that God has a plan and everything happens for a reason, but right now it just seems awfully unfair.

I am still helping to rescue/foster pugs for Pug Rescue of Florida and am now the official Gainesville area Coordinator. This brings me more joy that I can explain to anybody. It makes me feel useful and I look at these dogs (especially the one eyed boy I have right now) and know that they love me unconditionally, something that some people did not do, which slapped me in the face this weekend as well.

So in closing just let me say....don't hold grudges, tell the people in your life how much they mean to you and above all else. Make time for them because life is short and the good die young.. and Kenneth was one of the best!

Thanks for checking in and I promise to try and better about blogging.